Black

I guess it was the first sign of what to expect. Sitting stationary at the junction, I watched with bemusement as a ned stared me out as he crossed the road. My crime? I revved the engine in preparation to move off.

Welcome to Midlothian, twinned with Hazzard County. The destination was a concrete trailer park of a town called Mayfield, and this was were I was going to spend a proportion of my Friday night.

The second sign was walking into the room were the charity talent show was to take place to the strains of "I Predict a Riot" by the Kaiser Chiefs. It's as if karma itself was the dj.

The talent show itself was pretty entertaining. A good night out indeed. However, the Mongo Hordes descended on the place, a trail of Lynx Africa and Buckfast wafting in the breeze. Soon afterwards a fight starts on the dance floor involving 2 neds and a Senga. More join the scrummage, and fists are thrown as rapidly as the glasses.

The offenders are soon thrown out, and tension fills the air. The sad thing is that it wasn't really that unexpected. There are towns like this all over the region, and indeed the country. I know because I come from one of them.

It's the reason why I tell people I'm from Edinburgh, and not "from a town outside". Still, it was an insight into what the Wild West might have been like!